So, You’re A White Man Who Wants To Date A Black Woman in 2021

Andrea Coleman
6 min readAug 9, 2021

Wow. The confidence. I’m impressed, as always, by the swagger and general big dick energy of white men but especially one who wishes to date a black woman in 2021. I see you and I want to support you. I’m a black woman who’s been in a relationship with a white man for over 9 years and I’ve learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t in the area of romantic interracial relating.

I wrote an article in 2018 giving white men tips on how to date a black woman. But in light of all that’s been going on and all that is still going on I think it’s important to provide a 2021 update. First of all, make sure you go back and read that prior article because I don’t plan to duplicate what I wrote there. All that stuff still applies. This article is going to be very 2021 specific.

First of all, we gotta talk about racism and social unrest as it relates to the last couple years. My first piece of advice is ...

Assume Nothing

Do not assume anything about this black woman you wish to court. Don’t assume you know her stance or position on the police, the government, COVID, vaccination, mental health, weed, pork, healthcare, science, Lizzo. Like nothing. I have a lot of black female friends and family members and there’s very little we all agree on. Well, we pretty much all agree on the importance of lotion and not being ashy. And probably that Morris Chestnut is hot. And Idris Elba too. But other than that, assume nothing. Nothing will get you into hot water with a black woman faster than assuming you know her position on stuff without talking to her first. So you may think she feels the same way you do or that she is in agreement with the party line on whatever topic but she may not be. So do yourself a favor and assume you have no idea. Because if you’re just meeting her or this is a new topic, you probably don’t have any idea, right?

Listening is Sexy

So, in line with assume nothing is to listen to what she says. Just listen. Really listen. Don’t listen to debate or to refute, just listen to understand where she’s coming from. Guess how often a black woman in a room gets listened to by a white man? It’s not often my friend. Not often. I’ve been in a lot of rooms, courtrooms…



Andrea Coleman

Reiki Master, Lawyer & Comic with over 815K views: I love rules, writing & laughing.