So, You’re a Black Woman Who Wants to Date a White Man

Andrea Coleman
10 min readJun 27, 2018
The Author and her Man

Aren’t you controversial? How very Meghan Markle of you! How Iman-esqe! Honestly, move over Serena Williams, because you’re in town now! Maybe you have a specific white dude already in mind and you want some insider tips on how to navigate the ebony/ivory road. Maybe you don’t have a particular “Chad” in mind but you watched the royal wedding or back episodes of “Scandal” or even re-watched Sanaa Lathan in “Something New” and you’re curious. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter to me why you’re reading this article. No judgment here sis, I’m here to help. I’m black, my man is white and we’ve been together for over six years. I know a thing or two about partnering up with the white devil (hot take: they love it when you call them white devil. I kid, I kid, they have no idea what it means, you’ll have to explain it to him. If you want to, of course, you don’t have to tell him all of our secrets).

Alright, on to the list — drum roll, please.

1. You may already be dating a white man and don’t know it

You may have noticed that the average white dude does not flirt/kick game/holla at a woman in the same way that the average black dude does. White men generally flirt in the same way that they conduct business meetings. Which is to say, it looks and feels like a regular conversation. If that is happening with you, it could be them flirting. Really? You may ask. Yes, really. It’s so confusing. It happened to me! My man and I went on several “dates” before I even knew we were dating. He kept calling it “hanging out.” And on these “dates” he didn’t say anything about my body, whether he liked it or what he wanted to do with it — you know standard black dude cues for “I have a romantic interest in you.”

White men are super subtle. That’s why I say you may already be dating one because you may have misconstrued the seemingly platonic hangouts you’ve been having with Chad as non romantic, but to him, it’s a date. But, it could also just be a legit platonic hang out. Wanna know how to find out which one it is? Keep reading!

2. Finding out if you’re already dating a white dude



Andrea Coleman

Reiki Master, Lawyer & Comic with over 815K views: I love rules, writing & laughing.