Diary of a Black Woman At Edinburgh Fringe — Entry #21

I’m an American Black woman performing at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in Scotland for the first time

Photo by Sonika Agarwal on Unsplash

Performer’s Log — Stardate 08202025.01

Performance 19 of 23

4 shows left. I have four shows left. I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone. Today’s show felt like a packed house again. 21 people. I had people I knew in the audience, even a famous comic. It’s interesting to me how the ego will be saying a bunch of crap in my head about how bad things are going and then how the audience’s experience is totally different than the b.s. ego ranting. I’ve had so many shows now that when the ego says to me how bad things are going I don’t panic or freak out I just keep going. I just keep going.

What the ego says is some version of — This show is stupid. This show is dumb. You’re not having an impact. Everyone hates this. No one is into this. Just stop. Continuing on in the face of all that negativity is something I’ve become an expert in. You just have to. If I stopped moving forward every time the ego said I was making a fool of myself I’d hardly ever do anything. Maybe I am humiliating myself. Maybe everyone does hate this. But I’m going to just keep going. That to me is the definition of professional. Keep…