Aren’t you controversial? How very Meghan Markle of you! How Iman-esqe! Honestly, move over Serena Williams, because you’re in town now! Maybe you have a specific white dude already in mind and you want some insider tips on how to navigate the ebony/ivory road. Maybe you don’t have a particular “Chad” in mind but you watched the royal wedding or back episodes of “Scandal” or even re-watched Sanaa Lathan in “Something New” and you’re curious. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter to me why you’re reading this article. No judgment here sis, I’m here to help. I’m black, my man…

First of all, I applaud your ambition. Of all the interracial configurations available to you, the black woman to white man grouping is the most charged. You’re certainly on brand with the confidence level or on brand with your obliviousness to the situation. Either way, you’re on brand and I’m here to support you.

Now, because you’re a white man, I assume you want to know my qualifications to assist you — white men love a CV and references. I’m a black woman who’s been in a relationship with a white man for 6 years. I’m from the south and…

Photo by Peggy Anke on Unsplash

You’re right, it doesn’t. But maybe it should…

This title came from a comment left by someone to an article I published last month, “Why Am I the Only Black Person at Your Wedding.” It sparked some lively debate and is still doing so. It was actually, my most viewed article for May.

When I first read this comment I was shocked, even offended. How could this person think, that I think, the world revolves around Black people?! Or that I want that or think it should? Clearly that’s not what I’m asking for. I don’t think any Black person…

Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

I can’t believe I’m about to tell the world my starting salary. Part of me thinks this is a terrible idea. But, fortune favors the bold, right? I’m doing this because transparency around numbers would’ve helped me immensely when I entered the job market. So, here goes.

I was the worst. The literal worst negotiator when I started my career. You know why? Because I never negotiated. It’s like that famous quote from Wayne Gretzky, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” I never took a shot. I was so desperate and scared when I was looking for…

My family’s method of making collards may not be the best way…

Photo credit: Getty Images

It gives me no pleasure to make this admission. In fact, it is with great sadness that I share this with you. If put on the witness stand to testify, as I most surely expect that I would be, just like Lieutenant Colonel Markinson in “A Few Good Men,” I would say: I don’t want a deal and I don’t want immunity. I want you to know that I am proud neither of what I have done nor of what I am doing.

Like most kids, I feel like my mom is the best cook of every type of food…

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

It’s happened to me three times. Four if you count the guy who ghosted me and then re-appeared. Am I bragging? Um, I guess if you consider getting dumped four times a brag. But getting a dude to change his mind? Yeah, for sure, that’s a brag. And, are you ready for this? Two of the guys changed their minds before we even left the restaurant where they were dumping me!

I am not kidding. No, I am not a sorcerer nor am I a witch. I’m not from the planet Krypton and I have never been bitten by a…

Photo by Victoria Priessnitz on Unsplash

I know it’s the most important day of your life or whatever but also… why is there only one Black person at your wedding? And we’re in Brooklyn. New York. There are so many Black people in Brooklyn, New York. 34% of people in Brooklyn are Black. Arguably the best most interesting most amazing Black people are from or live in Brooklyn NY: Ziwe, Mos Def, Gabourey Sidibe, Jay-Z, Spike Lee, Ice T (no he doesn’t, he lives in New Jersey but I was on a rhyming roll…)

So um, how come I’m the only Black person you know? Or…

Photo by Sander Dalhuisen on Unsplash

Why is this happening?

What are you doing?

What is wrong with you?

Where did you learn to eat?

Who let this guy in here?

How did I get into this relationship?

Can I break up with him RIGHT NOW?

I hate him.

So much smacking.

If I punch him will he stop smacking?

The sound of my man chewing always comes as a surprise to me. Like ALWAYS. It should not come as a surprise because he walks into the room with a bowl (usually) of food and sits down and this should signal to my brain that eating…

Photo by Henry Ravenscroft on Unsplash

First off, it was NOT my idea. His Mom requested to come with us. She’d been out of town when the Marches started in New York and when she came back she asked if we would take her to one because she wanted to show her support. For so many reasons I did not want to do this.

Her physical safety

She was 80 years old at the time (she’s now 81) and I wanted to make sure she would be safe. I was concerned about her knees (she’s had 2 knee surgeries). What if she got tired or bumped around or jostled…

Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash

In Chicago, it’s illegal to impersonate a judge. Chicago isn’t unique. There is Federal law that says pretty much the same thing. I would wager that most, if not every, state in the U.S. has a law against impersonating a public official. Chicago is unique in that a woman was charged in 2016 with false impersonation of a judge.

The Chicago woman charged was a lawyer who clerked for a judge in Illinois. The attorney allegedly put on the judge’s robe, sat in the courtroom and actually ruled on a couple of traffic cases. At the time of the incident…

Andrea Coleman

Lawyer, Comic & Writer with over 678K views: I love rules, writing & laughing.

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